


dust off your highest hopes

by favowiteperson



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, Just Guys Being Dudes y'know, Love Confessions, M/M, Post-Squip, Requited Love, also it seems like they're already dating at the start of this fic but they aren't, and this time its, but its actually just bad jokes and cuddles and jeremy and michael being in love, he just loves michael so much :/, jeremy is sleepy, pining Jeremy, please let him rest, the summary makes it sound like its gonna be Dramatic and Sad, they're just really... close, woooo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-24
Updated: 2017-09-24
Packaged: 2019-01-04 17:58:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12173892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/favowiteperson/pseuds/favowiteperson
Summary: Jeremy wasn’t quite sure when the tide of Christine ebbed away enough for him to notice Michael standing on the shore.





	dust off your highest hopes

_and all i feel in my stomach is butterflies the beautiful kind, making up for lost time_

-

Jeremy Heere is tired.

He is so, so tired (in every sense of the word).

He’s tired of school and tests and pop quizzes and acting like anything as trivial as that actually matters anymore. He’s tired of lying on the floor and staring at the ceiling, analysing everything that he did while he was under the control of the squip. He’s tired of repressing his emotions and trying to ignore the fact that for years he’d been too blind to realise that the person he really wanted was in front of him the whole time.

Everything is changing; moving so fast and whizzing past Jeremy in a whirl of color and sound and he just wants everything to stop for a minute.

He needs things to slow down.

Jeremy may not like the constant change surrounding him, but he can’t deny that the change isn’t all bad. The squip incident- or “squipcident” as Rich has taken to calling it- seems to have made the people involved realise a lot of things. For example, after turning into a stuttering mess one day at the food court over a girl in a rainbow shirt complimenting her dress, Christine came out to the group and informed them that she maybe sorta kinda likes girls. Rich and Jake have made a habit of making out against Jake’s car every morning before class and being obnoxiously cute together in the hallways. Jeremy’s also pretty sure he saw Chloe and Brooke holding hands walking out of play rehearsal last week.

If Jeremy was poetic he’d say that going through what happened during the play had made everyone realise that having complete control of your future is a privilege, and life is far too short to not be living it the way you want to.

But Jeremy is not poetic, so he says that everyone is purposefully being happy and adorably in love in spite of him, so his hopeless pining feels ten times more tragic than it already is.

Because for Jeremy- well, it seems like it had taken a supercomputer in his brain to finally make Jeremy actually _think_ about his emotions for once. Jeremy had always accepted his romantic interest in Christine as a fact of life. The sky was blue, grass is green, and he had a crush on Christine. It wasn’t until Michael, the only other constant in his life, was torn away from him that he actually took the time to think about it.

He wasn’t quite sure when the tide of Christine ebbed away enough for Jeremy to notice Michael standing on the shore.

But when Jeremy did notice Michael, he _really_ noticed him. And it was driving him insane. If Jeremy wasn’t talking to Michael, he was texting Michael, or daydreaming about Michael, or having an internal argument with himself about why he shouldn’t be daydreaming about Michael.

However, despite his internal conflict, daydreaming about Michael is exactly what Jeremy was doing that lunch period (or possibly real-dreaming about Michael... he really was tired). Jeremy was the first one out of class that day, so he sat by himself, slumped over a cafeteria table with his head buried in his folded arms. He’s just about to properly doze off when he feels someone slide onto the bench next to him. Jeremy lifts his head with a disgruntled noise, blinking sleepily up at Michael who had just appeared next to him.

“I’m sorry, what was that?” Michael grins, gladly taking this opportunity to playfully tease Jeremy about his tendency to make weird noises.

“I said ‘Mmmnhg’, which is my ‘There are loud construction workers making loud construction sounds next to my house, so I got zero sleep last night’ noise.” Jeremy responds, resting his elbows on the table and cupping his face with his hands, squishing his cheeks in despair. “Zero sleep, Michael! None! Honestly, why are they even building things that late anyway?! Not to mention I had that math test this morning which I bombed because my brain can’t function without sleep, and my math teacher totally hates me and is going to hate me even more now because I failed that test and it looks like I’m not putting effort in when I am, I just-” Jeremy cuts himself off the second he realises he’s rambling and settles for making another upset sound to communicate his emotions instead.

Michaels eyes soften instantly and he envelops Jeremy in a hug, pulling the boy into his chest, and Jeremy immediately relaxes.

“Okay first of all, I really want to make fun of you for falling asleep in the cafeteria but you have your Jeremy Heere Morning Hair so now you look too pure and also too pathetic for me to even make fun of you. So like, that’s not fair” Michael complains, fluffing Jeremy’s hair up with his hands before trying half-heartedly to flatten it down and make it look presentable. “Second of all, dude, you should have told me you couldn’t sleep and you could have stayed over at my house” He says, resting his head on top of Jeremy's, having seemingly given up on trying to fix his bedhead.

“I didn’t want to bother you-” Jeremy cut himself off with a yawn and he promptly slumps against Michael’s chest, rubbing his eyes sleepily.

“You’re an idiot” The fondness in his voices makes Jeremy grin into Michael’s warm hoodie.

“You’re really going to insult your poor, sleep deprived best bud? That’s cold, Mell.” Jeremy sighs dramatically and clutches his chest in mock betrayal.

“Chill it, theatre kid” Michael snorts “I’m just saying you’re an idiot for thinking you’d be bothering me. You know if it were me in your position I’d probably climb through your window with a sleeping bag and nap at the end your bed without hesitation.”

“At the end of my bed? More like kick me out of my bed. Literally. Like that one time when you-”

“It’s not my fault I kick in my sleep!” Michael interrupts, wildly patting his hands all over Jeremy’s face until he locates his mouth and promptly covers it with his hand. “Stop calling me out like this! You’re sleep-shaming me!”

Suddenly, there’s a clatter as a lunch tray is set down on the table and Rich plops himself down on the bench across from them.

“Oh? What’s this gay shit?” He asks, smirking as he stabs his straw into his juice pouch with what is probably more force than necessary. Jeremy and Michael spring apart, putting some distance between them before the others arrive at the table.

“Did someone just say ‘gay shit’?” Brooke questions, sliding her lunch tray onto the table much more gracefully than Rich. “Because that’s relatable. You’ll never guess what Chloe did yesterday”

“You say one more word, Lohst, and I’m deleting the heart emoji from your contact name in my phone” Chloe slides onto the bench next to Brooke with a threatening glare.

Brooke makes a pained noise, clearly contemplating whether exposing Chloe is more important than her prized heart emoji.

“Worth it” she decides finally, bouncing in her seat excitedly, causing a confused but nevertheless enthusiastic Christine seated on Brookes other side to grin and promptly join in the bouncing. Chloe quickly unlocks her phone and angles the screen towards Brooke, thumb hovering threateningly over her contact name.

“Brooke Lohst, I will delete the puppy emoji as well.”

Brooke’s bouncing immediately seizes.

“Not the puppy!”

“Yes, the puppy!”

Brooke’s eyes widen.

“Holy shit” She looks back up at the rest of the group. “Nevermind guys, story cancelled.”

She proceeds to dig her spoon into her frozen yogurt, humming something under her breath that causes Chloe to snort and gently pinch her arm. With the promise of blackmail material on Chloe gone, Jenna, who had arrived at the table shortly after Brooke and Chloe, begins to recount some wild thing that happened at that party last weekend and Jeremy starts to zone out, subconsciously shifting closer to Michael again.

Jeremy is startled by his phone vibrating in his pocket, and he awkwardly shuffles around on the bench to get it out of his jeans.

**2 New Messages**

**rich bich** : Lmao u look so tired were u and Michael up too late last night ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**rich bich** : And by “up too late” i mean “banging” in case you’re too innocent to decipher that

Jeremy’s entire face flushes a shade of red that rivals Michael’s hoodie and he quickly angles his phone screen away from Michael, who is thankfully too absorbed in a conversation about music with Christine to have noticed the way Jeremy whipped the phone screen out of his sight.

**jeremy** : what?? no?

**jeremy** : wait also why would we do that in the first place?

**rich bich** : Do what

**jeremy** : sjfddnbgdmv uhhh “bang” ?

**rich bich** : Lmaooo i made you say bang

**rich bich** : Also are u guys not boyfriends?

**rich bich** : Oh shit is someone in this situation asexual and i’m being a dick

**jeremy** : no! i mean not as far as i know but?? we aren’t boyfriends?

**rich bich** : Hmmmm

**jeremy** : tf you mean “Hmmmm” ???

**rich bich** : First of all don’t say “tf” it doesn’t suit u

**jeremy** : yeah i cringed as soon as i sent that

**rich bich** : Second of all ur really trying to tell me you two aren’t boyfriends? Ur bags literally spell out “boyfriends”

**jeremy** : you were the one who wrote that!!!

**rich bich** : [maybeso.gif]

**jeremy** : jesus christ

Rich lets out a snort from the other side of the table and Jeremy shoots him a glare, putting his phone away again. He slides down further in his seat, drawing the attention of Michael, who’s conversation with Christine had ended without Jeremy noticing.

Jeremy now had Michael’s undivided attention.

While his face was still tinged with pink at the suggestion that they were dating.

Cool. That’s cool. That’s so totally chill-

“Jeremy, are you okay?” Michael asks softly, resting a hand on Jeremy’s arm.

_Not chill, not chill, not chill!_

“Yeah, I’m fine?” It comes out like a question, so he tries again. “I’m fine. Just tired.”

Maybe Michael won’t notice that he-

“You look kind of red”

Nevermind.

Michael gently places his palm against Jeremy’s forehead like he’s checking for a fever, and Jeremy forces himself to stay still and not jolt away like he’s been burnt- or even worse: lean into the touch like he so desperately wants to.

“Seriously, I’m okay” Jeremy says, determinedly avoiding looking over at Rich who is now smirking in their direction.

“Okay…” Michael removes his hand from Jeremy’s forehead, doubt clear in his voice. “Anyway, you wanna come over tonight? So you can actually get some sleep without those loud construction noises? I’ll even let you borrow your favorite blanket of mine. You know, that really soft one.”

Jeremy melts.

“Sure!” He cringes at how excited his voices come out, but luckily Michael matches his enthusiasm.

“Cool! Since It’s Saturday tomorrow you can just spend the day at mine too and we can play some Apocalypse of the Damned, if you want.”

Jeremy almost snorts at the “if you want”.

‘Michael, you could ask me to come over and sit with you in silence for six hours and I’d say yes without hesitation.’ Is what Jeremy wants to say.

Instead he says: “That sounds great.”

Michael’s face lights up and if Jeremy thought it was impossible to fall any deeper in love with this boy he was dead wrong.

“Sweet!” Michael gestures to Jeremy’s untouched lunch. “By the way, are you gonna vore that or..?” he says, effectively killing the mood.

“Michael, I swear to _god_!” Jeremy laughs, hitting his arm in mock exasperation.

Michael just winks and grins that soft Michael grin again and holy shit, Jeremy wonders how much longer he can live like this.

So… he’s going to stay over Michael’s house tonight and will probably end up sleeping wrapped up in a soft blanket that smells like Michael.

Okay, okay, okay.

That’s fine.

He’s fine.

He just needs to pull himself together.

He can do this.

-

He can’t do this.

Michael’s coming to pick Jeremy up in ten minutes and Jeremy is standing in front of his mirror, overnight bag packed long ago.

He shifts from foot to foot, fussing over his appearance in the mirror. He parts his hair on one side, then the other, then through the middle before running his hand through it and leaving it how it normally looks. He's harshly reminded of all the times he'd spent hours before school doing this exact same thing hoping to impress Christine and he quickly lets his hand fall. He glances back in the mirror, half intrigued and half horrified at the way his entire face is slowly going red. Why is he feeling so nervous? It's not like Michael is intimidating enough for his hands to be sweating this much.

This is Michael Mell.

Best-Friend-Of-Eleven-Years Michael Mell.

Scares-Himself-If-He-Puts-His-Slushy-Cup-Down-Too-Loudly Michael Mell.

Once-Cried-Over-A-Photo-Of-A-Baby-Deer Michael Mell.

Jeremy’s phone buzzes on the bed behind him and he rushes over to it.

** 1 New Message  **

**player 1 ♡** : sup i’m in your driveway get the fucc out here

**jeremy** : on my way !!

He grabs his backpack from the end of his bed, which he had dumped all his schoolbooks out of and replaced with a pair of sweatpants, a toothbrush and some miscellaneous snacks that he had picked up at the 7-11 on the way home from school.

Michaels PT Cruiser is idling in his driveway when he opens his front door, the sounds of music drifting out the slightly open windows. Jeremy shivers in the cold air and quickly runs over and slides into the passenger seat next to a grinning Michael who is tapping a beat on the steering wheel.

“Jeremy! You look awful!” he greets cheerily.

“Gee, thanks” Jeremy sinks into the seat, relishing in the warmth of the heater that’s currently blasting hot air around Michael’s car. He begins absentmindedly kicking his feet up and down, converse making quiet ‘pap pap pap’ noises against the car floor.

“Okay, okay, you look as beautiful as always.”

The papping immediately stops and Jeremy flushes pink.

Michael continues, oblivious to Jeremy’s internal crisis. “But you do have circles under your eyes that are darker than my soul.”

Michael pulls out of Jeremy’s driveway and begins the drive back to his own house.

“That’s probably the most Tumblr thing you’ve ever said.”

“Are you forgetting that time I pretty much spoke in ‘The Fault In Our Stars’ quotes for a week?”

“I mean, I was _trying_ to forget that.”

“God, so was I.” Michael cringes. “Okay, we’re pretending I never bought that up now.”

Michael starts to hum along to the radio, as if that will prevent him from saying any more embarrassing things.

Jeremy wants to continue to tease Michael, but his exhaustion wins and he let’s his eyes drift shut, the sound of Michaels humming lulling him into a relaxed state.

‘That was probably Michael’s plan all along with the humming.’ Jeremy’s sleep addled mind decides.

A few minutes later the car comes to a stop and Jeremy is being shaken gently.

“Jeeereemyyy” Michael singsongs, still shaking Jeremy softly. “Wake uuuup.”

“Hhnnn... ‘m not asleep” Jeremy slurs, reaching blindly for his backpack without opening his eyes.

Michael chuckles and gets out of the car before walking around to the passenger door and opening it, pulling Jeremy to his feet.

“I have your bag, idiot.”

Jeremy opens his eyes to see his bag slung over Michael’s shoulder.

“Oh.” Jeremy says quietly, wrapping his arms around himself to shield him from the cold, cursing himself for only wearing a thin cardigan over his shirt.

Michael notices this and he grabs Jeremy by the hand and drags him toward the house.

“C’mon, let’s get inside. It’s freezing out here.”

Jeremy nods and stumbles after Michael, letting himself be led through the house. The second they reach the basement Michael gently pushes Jeremy onto a beanbag before dropping onto the one next to him.

“I’m scared that if you stand up for any longer you’ll pass out.” Michael laughs as he says it but Jeremy can hear the worry in his tone.

“I’m honestly fine.” Jeremy opens his eyes wider and sits up properly, trying to prove his point. He immediately grins when he sees the familiar surroundings of Michaels basement, but frowns when he realises how cold he still is. He hears Michael snort next to him.

“Dude, so many emotions just crossed your face.”

Jeremy rubs his hands up and down his arms, trying to warm himself up.

“Why is it so cold down here?” he asks.

“It’s literally always been cold down here,” Michael replies. “you just usually make better clothing decisions.”

Michael pulls his own hoodie off and tosses it to Jeremy.

“Here- put this on. It’ll be warm from me wearing it.” He gets up and walks toward the door. “I’ll be right back, I’m just gonna go upstairs and get into pyjamas. You should probably do the same, those jeans can’t be comfortable.”

He leaves Jeremy paralysed in the beanbag, staring transfixed at the soft piece of red fabric in his hands. Jeremy slowly lets a smile creep onto his face as he gently traces the patches that Michael had sewn onto the hoodie, before snapping out of whatever kind of Michael-induced trance he’s been put in. He quickly unzips his bag and changes into his sweatpants, stuffing his discarded jeans back into his bag. He looks at the hoodie admiringly for a while longer before finally pulling it over his head. Michael was right- it was warm. So warm and so soft and so Michael. The sleeves are too long and they fall over Jeremy’s hands. He grins and falls back onto the beanbag, burying his face in the sleeves for a few seconds before holding his arms out in front of him and entertaining himself by flapping his hands up and down, watching the extra fabric swish around.

This is what he is still doing when Michael returns, now wearing pyjama pants a plain grey shirt. Michael stops short when he sees Jeremy and he lets out a choked noise.

“What’s wrong?” Jeremy asks, his hands pausing mid-flap.

“N-nothing” Michael gets out, returning to his beanbag. “It’s nothing.”

Jeremy is too tired to question Michael more so instead he sinks further into the beanbag and turns to face his friend.

“Thanks, by the way”

Michael tilts his head to the side in confusion.

“Thanks for what?”

“For the hoodie. For letting me stay over. For… y’know” Jeremy gestures vaguely to Michael. “for that.”

Michael raises an eyebrow and Jeremy.

“What exactly is ‘that’?” he laughs.

“I dunno...” Jeremy is suddenly very sheepish. “You? You’re just… so nice? And you’re always there? I don’t know man, I’m tired. I think I’m just thanking you for existing”

A blush spreads across Michael’s cheeks and he smiles softly at Jeremy.

“Of course I’m always here. I always will be.”

“Why?” The word is out of Jeremy’s mouth before he can stop it. He snaps his mouth shut and looks away quickly.

“What do you mean?” Michael questions, looking at Jeremy incredulously.

“Nevermind, I don’t know why I said that. I’m just- I’m just tired so I have no filter, ignore me.” Jeremy says quickly, fiddling with his fingers. Michael shifts closer and places his hands over Jeremy’s, stilling his nervous movements.

“Jeremy, what do you mean ‘why’?” he asks again.

Jeremy takes a deep breath.

“I just mean… why are you still here for me? After everything I did. I abandoned you, Michael!” Jeremy’s hands start shaking. This is the topic they’d been dancing around for months now. Is this where it all goes wrong? Michael holds Jeremy’s hands tighter, as if he can stop them from shaking.

“Jeremy, you had a supercomputer in your brain telling you what to do. You really think I’m going to blame you for that?” Michael’s voice is so full of love that Jeremy could cry.

He _really_ could cry.

Damn it.

He furiously blinks back the tears that are threatening to escape.

“I’m the one who chose to take it in the first place though! You shouldn’t still care about me. I was a terrible best friend.”

Michael releases Jeremy’s hands and moves backwards and Jeremy’s heart drops. He knew he deserved to be left by Michael but he wasn’t prepared for it to actually happen. However, Michael doesn’t leave. There’s a crinkling sound as Michael slides off his beanbag onto the floor. He reaches over and tugs at Jeremy’s hands until he gets off his own beanbag and joins Michael on the ground. Michael grabs a blanket off the dresser next to him- it’s the soft one he was talking about earlier: Jeremy’s favorite. Jeremy’s eyes fill with tears again as Michael presses close to him and gently wraps the blanket around the both of them.

“Okay listen up, Heere.” Michael says in that same affectionate voice that makes Jeremy’s heart swell. “We’re gonna hug this shit out.”

Jeremy gives a watery laugh.

“Yeah, you were kind of a shitty best friend for a while there” Michael says, chuckling when Jeremy nods and chimes in with a quiet “super shitty”. Michael turns and looks into Jeremy’s eyes, suddenly speaking very seriously. “But I forgive you. You’re still my best friend, Jeremy. You always will be.”

Suddenly the proximity between him and Michael and the pure affection and patience in Michaels gaze all too much and he gets that prickling sensation again. The overwhelming urge of just needing everything to slow down. The tears that have been threatening to spill all night finally roll down Jeremy’s cheeks. Michael instantly wraps his arms around Jeremy and pulls the boy close.

“Jeremy, oh my god, what’s wrong?” Michael rubs circles into Jeremy’s back before pulling away and cradling Jeremy’s face in his hands, wiping the tears off his face with his thumbs.

“I just-” Jeremy struggles to find words. “I just feel like everything has changed.”

“Oh, Jeremy.” Michaels arms are around him again. “Things don’t have to change.”

This only causes more tears to spill, and Jeremy buries his head into Michael’s shoulder, relishing in the closeness while it lasts. Jeremy pulls away and takes a shaky breath, avoiding Michael's gaze.

“That’s the thing, though. I want things to change! I want- I-” The words aren’t coming and Jeremy lets out a frustrated noise. For once, Michael doesn’t make fun of Jeremy’s odd noises. Instead he gently places a hand on Jeremy’s cheek, forcing Jeremy to look at him. It’s only now that Jeremy notices the unshed tears in Michael’s eyes. Michaels voice is impossibly soft when he says

“What do you want, Jeremy?”

So Jeremy says the only thing on his mind.

“You.”

Michaels hand drops to his lap. The silence that follows is palpable, and Jeremy swears even the wind outside stops. Jeremy risks glancing up at Michael only to see him frozen, staring at Jeremy with wide eyes. His cheeks are flushed pink and his mouth is open slightly in shock. Michael finally breaks the silence.

“Oh?”

Jeremy almost laughs out loud. He just confessed to the love of his life and that’s what he gets in response?

Michael clears his throat and exhales shakily.

“So uh, when you say that you- you want me…” Michael is stumbling over the words. “D-do you mean like… you want your platonic best bro by your side or...?”

Michael trails off and Jeremy looks down at his hands nervously.

He could lie.

He could say that of course he meant it platonically, what else would he mean?

No.

He can’t lie to Michael, he can’t hide something like this from him anymore.

God, he’s actually going to have to say the words, isn’t he?

This is worse than blurting out a vague confession in the heat of the moment.

So much worse.

Jeremy’s heart is pounding so hard and fast he has to take a moment to regulate his breathing. He’s not going to have a panic attack, is he? He looks up at Michael’s expectant face. Michael is glowing in the dim light of the basement TV, eyes warm and cheeks a dusty pink.

Jeremy relaxes slightly.

Okay, no, he’s fine.

Hopefully.

‘I have no idea how to do this.’ Jeremy thinks distantly. There’s no help guide on how to confess your love to your best friend of eleven years. He is so not prepared for this.

So he does what he always does.

He talks about Michael.

“Do you remember that time we went to the arcade and you won me that Pac-Man plushie that I really wanted from the claw machine?”

Michael frowns slightly and tilts his head to the side in confusion.

“Are you really trying to change the subject right now?”

“No! I swear I’m not. I’m going somewhere with this okay, trust me.”

Michael furrows his eyebrows but nods.

“Okay, yeah, I do remember the arcade.”

Jeremy shakes the sleeves of Michaels hoodie over his hands to hide the way his palms are starting to sweat.

“Right. So you won that toy for me and I was embarrassingly excited about it and you gave it to me and you said ‘Can you believe I just won that for you? You must totally in love with me now.’ and I said ‘Well- I’m not in love with you, but I’m still keeping the toy.’”

Michael silently nods, waiting for Jeremy to continue.

“I was lying.”

Jeremy is impressed at how calmly he manages to get the words out despite feeling like he’s going to throw up.

“About not being in love with you. I was lying.”

He makes eye contact with Michael as he says it again, and his heart feels like it’s about to explode.

Michael opens his mouth before quickly snapping it shut.

“You-” Michael tries again. “Seriously?”

It seems Jeremy’s brief moment of inexplicable calm confidence is over and his breathing quickens.

“Yeah, seriously. Look, I’m- I’m really sorry if it’s weird. I just felt like I had to tell you and- Oh god, I’ve ruined everything h-haven’t I? I knew it was a bad idea but I didn’t want to lie to you and I-”

Jeremy stops when he feels Michael reach over and cup his cheek.

“Jeremy, breathe.” He says, stroking his thumb gently along the other boys cheekbone.

Jeremy nods and forces himself to breathe slower, trying to ignore the pressure of Michael’s hand cradling his face which is only causing the butterflies in his stomach to get more intense.

“You haven’t ruined anything.” Michael says quietly.

His gazes shifts down to Jeremy’s lips before he quickly looks up again, locking eyes with an extremely nervous Jeremy.

“Uh, can I-” Michael leans a tiny bit closer on instinct and Jeremy’s mind goes into overdrive.

Does Michael mean what Jeremy thinks he means?

What Jeremy desperately wants him to mean?

There’s only one way to find out.

Jeremy nods and it’s all the confirmation Michael needs. Michael leans forward and rests their foreheads together before carefully angling his head so their lips are inches apart. His hand is still resting on Jeremy’s face and he strokes his thumb along Jeremy’s cheekbone before he finally connects their lips and- oh.

If Jeremy felt like his heart was going to explode earlier, this was the explosion.

Michaels lips are softer than he imagined, and the way he kisses is just as soft. All of Michaels movements are slow- after trying so hard to make everything in his life slow down, this is something Jeremy appreciates greatly. The kiss deepens and- ‘jesus christ, he tastes like a 7-11 slushy’ Jeremy registers vaguely. Michaels hand slides from cupping Jeremy’s cheek to tangle in this hair, and Jeremy melts into the kiss. His hands find Michael’s shirt and he grips it and pulls Michael closer, closer, closer.

When they pull apart Jeremy can tell he’s blushing furiously but when he looks at Michaels flushed face and shining eyes and slightly parted lips he struggles to see how that’s a bad thing.

Jeremy is the first one to speak.

“So…”

Michael adjusts his crooked glasses that had been moved around during the kiss and Jeremy thinks it’s probably the most endearing thing he’s ever seen.

“So…” Michael echos, a slightly dazed smile on his face.

“You kissed me. We kissed. That’s a thing that just happened.” Jeremy states, playing with his hands nervously.

“That we did.”

Michael’s hands cover Jeremy’s once again, and his fidgeting stops.

“So uh… what does this mean? I mean... how- how are you feeling?” Jeremy asks tentatively.

“Really fucking gay.”

The tension drains out of Jeremy’s body and he bursts into laughter, hitting Michael on the arm.

“Micah! Seriously! Every time we’re having a moment, I _swear_.”

Michael laughs with him.

“Okay I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Let me do that again.” He clears his throat. “Jeremiah Heere, I’ve imagined kissing you nearly every day for five years now, and actually doing it was better than I could have ever dreamed. I wouldn’t be opposed to doing it every day for the rest of my life.” He pauses. “So, wanna be boyfriends or something?”

Jeremy’s brain short-circuits.

“Five years?” Is all he manages to get out.

Michael scratches the back of his neck and looks away.

“Uh, yeah… oops?”

“Jesus christ, Michael.”

Jeremy shakes his head and quietly murmurs ‘five years’ before surging forward and connecting their lips again. The momentum knocks Michaels glasses askew again but neither of them care. Michael pulls back quickly, hands on Jeremy shoulders.

“Wait, you never answered my question. Boyfriends?”

Jeremy breathes out an incredulous laugh and drops his head onto Michael’s shoulder.

“I can’t believe this is happening.”

Jeremy says into Michael’s shirt.

“Yes, I’ll be your boyfriend. Oh my god, yes. Just- yes.”

He pulls away to look at Michael’s face. Michael is beaming and he laughs at Jeremy’s red face.

“I’m taking that as a solid yes.” Michael says.

Jeremy whines in embarrassment.

“Shut it, Mell-” A yawn interrupts his sentence and Michaels face morphs from amusement to concern.

“Oh, dude, you still haven’t slept yet! I totally forgot. You must be exhausted.”

“First of all, I can’t believe we were making out literally two minutes ago and you’re calling me ‘dude’ right now.” Jeremy snorts.

“It’s sleepytime, my guy. Bro, its beddy-bye. It’s nighty-night, dude.”

Jeremy groans, but it’s clear he’s holding back laughter.

“Hey Michael, quick question- do you ever think before you speak?”

“Do I ever what before I what now?” Michael flashes Jeremy a grin before removing his half of the blanket from around his shoulders and wrapping the whole thing around Jeremy tightly.

“You look like a lil sushi roll!”

Jeremy rolls his eyes from his blanket burrito.

“There’s a vore joke in there somewhere.”

Michael gasps out loud.

“Oh my god! You’re learning so fast.”

Jeremy shakes his head quickly.

“Nope, no thanks, I want no part in your terrible jokes.”

Michael fake pouts before abruptly standing up and lifting Jeremy in his arms, earning a surprised squeak from the boy.

“Time for bed now.”

Jeremy would normally protest at being carried like this, but being in Michael’s snuggly blanket has caused his exhaustion to hit him full force. He’s also too impressed at the fact that Michael can carry him with such ease to complain at all because damn, Michael is surprisingly strong. Jeremy files that bit of information away for a later date.

Michael tightens his grip on Jeremy and carries him over to the double bed on the other side of the room, gently placing him on it. He flicks off the light but (probably remembering that Jeremy isn’t a fan of the dark) leaves the basement TV on so the room is dimly lit by the blue glow of the screen.

Jeremy wriggles around a bit until he loosens up the blanket wrapped tightly around him enough for him to fling his arms out and make grabby hands towards Michael who is now climbing into bed next to Jeremy. Michael accepts the silent invitation and burrows into the blankets next to Jeremy, wrapping his arms around the other boys waist and pulling him close. Jeremy lets out a content hum at this and buries his head into Michael’s chest. Michaels arm drapes across Jeremy’s waist, and there’s a comfortable silence as he rubs gentle circles on Jeremy’s side. Both of the boys are in slight disbelief that this is actually happening, and it’s Jeremy who voices this.

“We’re…” Jeremy’s voice is muffled by Michaels chest and he pulls away slightly so he’s looking up at Michael’s face.

“We’re boyfriends.” he says, and Michael chuckles quietly.

“We are.” They are both quiet for a long time before Jeremy finally speaks up again.

“Nice.”

They both collapse into giggles at this and Michael playfully pinches Jeremy’s hip.

“You’re meant to be asleep.”

“Fine, mom.”

“Jer, my tongue was literally in your mouth like three minutes ago, don’t compare me to your mom. That’s worse than me calling you ‘Dude’.”

Jeremy laughs quietly but his retort is lost somewhere in the path from his exhausted mind to his mouth so instead he lets his eyes flutter shut and he sighs out an incoherent noise.

In the back of his mind he registers that everything is really changing now. He’s dating Michael Mell. He’s ecstatic about that, of course, but what does this mean for them? What will everyone else say? Is their dynamic going to change? Are they going to stay together? _Oh god_ , what if they break up?

Jeremy can feel himself beginning to overthink. His mind is just starting to fill with that overwhelming buzzing static again when he feels Michaels arm around his waist tugging him closer. A gentle kiss is pressed to his forehead and he barely catches Michael’s quiet whisper of “Goodnight. I love you.”

Jeremy relaxes in Michael’s embrace and he fights against the pull of sleep so he can whisper it back.

“I love you, too.”

For once in Jeremy’s life, everything slows down.

**Author's Note:**

> oh MAN this has been a long time coming oops,, i just? never got around to posting this until now  
> whenever i went to work on this fic it was at like. 5am so? there might be some mistakes? i proof read it but idk  
> let me know if theres any errors :0  
> (also the 'gay shit' brooke was talking about at lunch was chloe spontaneously playing piano and singing 'can't help falling in love' to brooke in an empty music classroom the other day)  
> ((thats what brooke started humming during lunch))  
> (((also i'm sorry for the vore jokes in this fic okay blame michael)))  
> if u wanna yell abt the boyfs with me hmu @ bemorechills on tumblr or @ favowiteperson on twitter


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